On being a Doula

Before I had William I never understood moms. I think this is probably normal. As a matter of fact, I don't believe you can understand being a parent at all really until you are one. It really is an exclusive club. Nothing against non-parents, it's just that you really can't know what it's like without the actual experience. Anyway... what I'm trying to say is, before I was a mom I didn't really care that I wasn't one. I didn't really like kids and I never really knew what to do with them. Babies were cool but, I was uncomfortable around them and felt awkward around new moms.

And then my day came.

I can not tell you how different I feel now. My heart goes out to new moms in a way that I never could have expected. So much so that I am considering being a postpartum doula so I can help them ease the transition from non-mom to awesome mom. I love birth and I would possibly someday consider being a labor and delivery doula, but for now I want to be the one to be there to encourage the new mom when she is unsure, when she is tired, when she is learning to trust herself.

As you can read in my "Surrendering" tab, I believe that the natural, God-given maternal instincts are being undermined by "experts", by friends and family, by society... and I think we need to do what we can to liberate moms to nurture and care for their babies with no reservations, no guilt. A mom should never feel like it's the wrong thing to love on her baby. She should never feel like she's spoiling him/her. That's ridiculous! A mother should be free to always comfort her crying baby. She should feel comfortable nursing at the child's whim. I know just that statement, being "on-call" to a baby, may make some cringe... but it's the fault of our society! In other societies it is completely normal and expected that the new mom is only focused on her baby for at least a year. She has helper who do all the housework so she can be with her baby, nurse and rock, walk and play. Doesn't that sound nice?

As a postpartum doula I would come alongside a mother and enable her to do as much of that as possible. I would do my best to empower them to focus on their baby and to feel good about it. It is not as it once was years ago where birth and caring for a new life was a normal part of family life. You might be surprised how much new moms don't know about their newborn and the adjustment that must be made. A postpartum doula helps educate moms and families about the needs of the newborn and the changes that will take place.

It would be a joy to me to watch a family grow and evolve into something harmonious and beautiful. I know that if I pursue this it will take a few years to complete the training, so I want to make sure that I'm really called to it. I've already started reading some of the required books to get a feel for what it will be like. Guess we'll see what happens!